I never dreamed that a day would come when all three of my adult children decided they wanted nothing to do with me. But that day came, none-the-less, just before the holidays (actually on Thanksgiving night of 2015). Happy holidays to me.
I’ve decided to keep a record of my journey on this uncharted, heartbreaking, and very lonely path. I’ve been a single mom for many years, so there isn’t even a partner or husband to share this painful experience with me.
Not sure what form this blog will take. I have a few poems I’ve written in the midst of the pain and grief. I may share those. I’ve also written letters to my oldest daughter on occasion, letters I’ve never sent. I really miss talking to her, telling her about my day, and seeing her laugh at my sometimes goofy and always snarky sense of humor. Nobody ever “gets” me the way she did. The loss of that relationship is almost unbearable on so many levels.
It’s a long, long story and I’m not even sure how to tell it. Probably in fits and starts. Prose and poetry. Songs. Tears. Rants. You name it, it’ll end up here at some point, I suppose.
All photos in the heading section of this blog are photographs I’ve taken personally, although I changed them all from color to black-and-white which seemed to fit more with this painful time of life. I love to take photographs, so those may end up here, as well. The illustrations on individual posts will be from a variety of sources.
For now I’ve chosen to keep this blog anonymous, mainly to protect my children. They may have rejected me, but I’m still their mom, I still love them more than life itself, and I would never want to do anything that may cause them pain or embarrassment in anyway.
Welcome to my blog, and to my heartache. (sigh)
You can access the first post on this blog at this link. From there, you can follow your way through the posts by following the red arrows at the bottom of each post.
~ The Estranged Mom