I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading about adult children who estrange themselves from their parents and it seems that new spouses/partners seem to have a lot to do with it. It’s also common for it to begin after an adult child begins counseling.
I can attest to the fact that two of my childrens’ significant others have played a large part in not only encouraging this estrangement, but actually doing a great deal to instigate it from the beginning. And both of the children with the difficult SO’s also began seeing counselors at about the same time. I’ll go into that more at a later time.
Also, when families are super close (as mine was), sometimes when the adult children have the need to do some of the normal separation from their parents that comes with growing up, they don’t know how to do it, so they just cut their parents off completely.
I just think it’s interesting that there are patterns to these sorts of family situations that don’t really have much to do with the actual state of the relationship between parent and adult child.
On another note but still related to things I’m reading, I’ve just started into a book called Done with the Crying: Hope and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children by Sheri McGregor. So far, it looks like it’s going to be a helpful read. At the end of each section, the author has some questions for thought and recommends writing out the answers to give you a chance to connect to parts of yourself that you can tap into by doing something physical rather than just thinking about answers to the questions.
I’ve read the first chapter, but came to the questions at the end and wasn’t sure what to do with them. Then it dawned on me they could be good to share as posts on this blog. You can join me as I work my way through the book.
Until later …